hard to swallow ...and...don want to accept...

haiz....why i everything to be unable to find....
anything....i am trying to live with it...
another thing is i find it hard to take...
i am strange why...
why my home look cold and cheerless every night
i really hate ...no feel good...
but...cannot change anything...
at my home....There isn't no entertainment

hate it!!!hate it!!!!only ..tv...and computer..
.computer is only play in holiday...
ahhh!!!!why so...so...haiz..don know how to say la.....
only hate la!!!!